I had observed in my younger days doing shall we say nocturnal fieldwork, that couples might make-out for a bit with the lights on, but when it came time to be intimate they tended to turn out the lights. Illumination if at all was from a flickering candle or a cathode ray tube.
In our early years, we had the lights a-blazing. As an avid voyeur, I saw no reason to miss out on any visual detail. We did candles, but usually lots of them to inflame the pyro in me. As we aged and added some bulges and bumps, we tended to dim out light sources until we, too were making the beast with two backs by the blue light of the TV with the sound down. Not a very efficient light source, that.
With some really remarkable effort on both our parts we have lost the equivalent of another body in bed. To the consternation of our friends who want a different answer to how we lost the weight , we did it from eating less, and being more active. Our sex lives have picked up as of late in frequency, duration, and the athleticism involved. As you can see from the last entry we can at times be a little intense, and the light levels are definitely back up.
Yesterday, I was playing some of those ad a letter/drop a letter, alphabet, word association, etc. games on a forum we frequent. One involved alphabetizing gerunds. (of course they didn't actually say gerunds, they simply said to find an "ing" word starting with the next letter of the alphabet.) I couldn't think of one for K for some reason, when usually I am pretty fast in riffling through my lexicon. She suggested "Kicking", which I started typing till she said "Kissing". Funny how a word can evoke memories. I mean it isn't like we don;t kiss on a regular basis. more lately than in a long time, some affectionate pecks, as well as a sprinkling of varied intensities thrown into the mix or our love-making, and even at times when we are just fucking. It occurs to me that that seems to be the difference. not the kink level but the kiss level in determining whether we are "Being Intimate" or "Fucking".
I remembered back to times when I was still in most ways imaginable a virgin, and she was while somewhat impatient, respecting my boundaries. I wish I could say my reticence was because of devout piety, but the truth was I was superstitious. My most serious previous relationship had ended, I thought at the time, as punishment at the hand of God. Not surprising I thought that given my repressive upbringing and the fact that I am in fact a direct descendant of Increase Mather. (I found out much too late that my poor attempt at self-education could have perhaps been rectified if I had had a large wad of cash and had presented my genealogy to the admissions office at Harvard and claimed the ultimate legacy status.)
Where was I? Oh, children of an Angry God and that sort of thing.
So, I convinced myself that if I went "too far" I would lose this girl that I was quite smitten with, sexually and emotionally. I drew silly incongruent lines to define the bounds of proper behavior, or at least behavior no worse than the week before say. We would have conversations that had a very heavily sexually charged undercurrent, while making plans to avoid for instance being alone together, as the flesh was weak. Very supple, and weak.....(enjoying euphoric recall here.)
So the kinkiest seemed to be the times we were most determined to "be good". We noticed the pattern early and we would torment each-other with the phrase, "We are going to be good..." "...Very good.."
So last night I wanted to re-live a little of the plain old make-out session time. I hadn't specifically planned anything vis-a-vis the lighting scheme. I had only resolved to leave the rope, the duct tape, the belt, and the kink put away, and just kiss. for as long as I could without leading anywhere else. I wasn't going to resist any advances she might be inspired to make, but I would be chaste, I resolved. Out of the shower, teeth brushed, I killed the distraction of the TV and when I flipped off the bathroom light the whole room was plunged into darkness. Interestingly that seemed to add to setting a new tone. I don't think the lighting level matters in this experiment for a couple, just try something different than you usually do, whatever that is. Unless you are blind in which case maybe write bright or dim slogans on each other in braille.
I fumbled trough the dark without stubbing a toe or barking a shin and found her on 'her side' of the bed guided in part by the redolent tones of the toddler snoring on my side. As planned we kissed and reminisced and it took not long at all for her to pick-up on the fact that I was reliving the days of being good. We didn't stay good, including other fantasy tableaus in our couping but just the slow delay made certain sensations all the more delicious.
She pointed out that I in fact was never this chaste at our best, but I pointed out that in fact I was in the earliest days before I succumbed to her feminine whiles and fell. I played the coquette, she played the gentle encourager and we had a fine time.