My COCK belongs to her....

I didn't know what an affinity for administering measured doses of pain, unit I actually tried it. I knew from my Boy Scout days that I was a whiz at knots, just hadn't really associated the bowline, the square hitch or the sheet-bend with the bondage applications. I learned fast though and really enjoy leaving a red hand print, or the occasional raw nipple.

In reading various things in places I probably ought not be, I have become fascinated with the concept of the switch. I mean I get how its fun to wield the paddle.Its about control and sadism, and kink. What I like best about it is the effect such things have on my wife. I am constantly amazed at how demonstrably wet she can get from these things if the mood is right and the build-up is gradual. Kind of funny though because out of the bedroom, (other than childbirth) I seem to have a higher pain threshold than her.

I only understand the masochistic side from watching my wife cum from submission. I have wondered whether it might not be possible to see it from her end, if she were to try her hand at my end so to speak.

We have talked about it, experimented a little, usually resulting in giggles.

Now last night was another story. She was understandably irritated with me through-out the day when she realized from my squirrelly sidesteps online that I had once again chatted up the odd lonely horny woman online. It matters not that most likely the other dude was also pretending to be a lesbian. Its the principle that matters.

I felt guilty, she was mad, then she was guilty that she was as mad as she was (as if these things can be exactly titrated.) I felt guilty that I had somehow manipulated her into feeling bad about making me feel bad. We finally agreed to a do over. She suggested a cuddle. I agreed, although it turned into far from a cuddly experience.

She has always been able to separate her love for me from my behavior and I need to learn from her example. I have trouble feeling anything but numb if I am angry, or guilty or scared, or insecure.

I felt a little more worthy during the beginning dance steps of intimacy last night in a more giving role. More for the room on the bed and trying to not knock a load of laundry off the hope chest at the end of the bed, I was in a bit of an odd position. She has a wonderfully vivid imagination and at times can indulge her bisexual side by forgetting the stubble on the chin that disappears below the horizon of her mons. In addition to that visual, my ass was quite high that as she described it was a lovely heart shape and looking quite spankable.

She went into a kind of new place where she in an encouraging, but dominant in herinstructions of what I should be doing whilst giving her oral pleasure. Getting up, she had an idea and beckoned me to my knees on the floor at the foot of the bed. There on the floor was a chain leash. Fastening it around my neck, she guided me into position and gave positive and negative reinforcement with words and the leash as needed. Interesting. After some twists and turns and an orgasm or two of hers, she said in a husky voice, grabbing my cock.."This is MY cock,you use it for my pleasure and at my pleasure...do you understand?" I was in a very compliant mood and readily assented. Maybe subconsciously she was re-asserting her marital rights? Consciously she says no, but I wondered a bit. At the time I assumed it was an actual message. It seemed timely and topical, so I had no argument.

When she had felt that she had used her love-toy to her satisfaction, she offered me the reward of my choice. She does a phenomenal blow-job, but I was feeling more ala carte. I asked her to choke me. I wanted to imagine I was her and see what she sees as she starts to gray out mid-orgasm. Turns out, the adam's apple makes this a bit less comfortable it would seem. There was a nice feeling that is hard to describe about letting go and trusting. there was an edge of fear that spiked the adrenaline, but the trachea seemed to dislike it in every way.

Later there was some enthusiastic spanking and that did seem to hold promise. As she repeated the slaps to the same spot, I did notice the sensation she has described to me about a numb feeling as the endorphins go to work. Perhaps we will revisit some of these elements at sometime, but we were both agreed afterwards that we excel in our respective roles.

Edit:

1/25/2008

adding a video clip here so so its not in your face on the main page of the blog...I mean who wants a cock right in your face? and for those that do, all in one place one stop shopping.