Friday, February 8, 2008

My Wife is a Cheap Whore. - The Husband

I had a couple of days off again and limped home trying to save as much gas as possible on the 200 mile trip. In the past, the best I have managed in the "Midlife-Crisis-Mobile" was about 26 MPG and often less than 20. Coasting downhill, and keeping the tach far below my usual 8,200 RPM shifts yielded an impressive 35 MPG. Economizing in this way got me home for about $16. The trip back uphill cost a little more so I figure I spent about $35 to come home for the express purpose of fucking my wife.I got home and found that dishes were a little behind so I pitched in a couple of hours of general housework. Since I muddied the clothes myself I am not counting my labor doing my laundry that I brought back with me. I figure my labor was worth say minimum wage so add another $10 or so.The water main was broken. I spent a couple of hours with the teenager's assistance excavating that. Since he did most of the heavy work there, I earned supervisor's wages there so figure about $25 more. Repairing the pipe is Plumber's work so that has to be worth a minimum $50 service fee. I am not counting the labor filling the trench back in, because she helped with that. It was pretty hard, muddy work. Come to think of it thought she does like getting dirty so maybe I should charge for that.The original plan was a repeat of our previous ass-to-mouth filthiness. I had called her en route and the plan was to have her on her knees by the front door, mouth agape as I dropped trou. It was not to be as the toddler was awake and active. We did manage to eventually manage a little privacy and after a little fellatio foreplay, and tried out a new position with her back against the wall and a foot on the doorknob. The next round we tried a little more conventional bed-sex to the enjoyment of all. I threatened her with some butt sex for the round three but my punch list of throat/cunt/ass did not actually get completed before I did. I was fairly impressed with myself for actually getting off three times in just a little over 24 hours. Yay for my leaner, easier-getting-off, Prozac-free body.I am scheduled to work 7 pm to 7 am tonight so I didn't have to leave quite as early. In an effort to get on a graveyard sleep schedule the plan was to stay up late Thursday night possibly fucking her up the ass, then make the drive up and sleep Friday morning. I was a little tired from pipe-laying so I decided to get a little pre-coital nap. The nap lasted till 4 am, at which time I needed to leave. So round four consisted of a peck on the cheek as I headed out the door. I got to the work camp 45 minutes late to have breakfast, and too awake to sleep. I might as well have stayed home and taken advantage of her general horniness again. For years my drive exceeded her rather ample drive by a large margin. I feel I am just about as driven as ever. My ability to recover quickly and go again though is diminished a bit with age. She remarked that at this point her interest probably slightly exceeds mine at this point. This is a very good thing. Its nice to have it whenever the whim strikes me. That is assuming I happen to be in the same zip code. Cruel irony that we are physically separated lately when we are as emotionally close as we have been in a long time.I figure I spent cash and labor of about $120 to get off 3 times. So at $40 each time for no-holes-barred sex with the full G.F.E. ("GirlFriend Experience") is indeed a bargain. I defy you to find a better whore in any English speaking country for less than two Jacksons.