Random non-sexual banter with a porn star.

The company put Sirius Satellite Radio in my cab overnight. I didn't actually notice because I just went by feel and as I went from remote place to remote place I pressed the scan buttons on the FM band it was on looking to pick-up any of the three stations that reach the area. For some reason the really well paid mechanics that work on these things don;t know that there is a lead from the radios that should go straight to the battery instead of through the ignition so the pre-sets are always out on every piece of equipment I get on.

At some point the control tower called me up and asked me to tune my Sirius Radio to 184. I did but was busy using the equipment to make my employer money so I couldn't actually work out the controls or what to do. Apparently the weather station (Channel 184) allows the unit to talk to Sirius and unlock something or another. I put it on scan and after a while on and off, I got stations, I thought at first that they were all coming in in Spanish. (Later I figured out some were Spanish and some French) I, for a moment thought maybe someone was having fun at my expense. Our equipment is at times left in Spanish mode by jokesters or maybe Hispanic operators, but jokesters are more likely. The first English station I came to was The Playboy Chanel. I called up the wife from the nearest port-a-john. I told her she better hurry if she wants to get "the easy one" before The Girls Next Door do. I wondered what it would be, moans and giggles or what. Can't very well do a centerfold layout over the air.

The first thing I heard was some sort of call in game show where you had to guess what word the porn star (I assume) was hinting at and whoever wins gets some prize from Hef's grab bag. These guys were noticeably excited to be talking to the girl, but the subject matter was entirely non-sexual. This at first struck me as odd and desperate. I imagined these guys watching this girl over and over again on a worn out VHS cassette till the knew every curve of her better than perhaps she did. I thought that maybe some of them can almost make themselves believe that they "know" her. In a way, they do, I suppose. At least the version of her she chooses to share in that way.

I got to thinking that it actually did make sense for them to get exuited to be talking to her. I still look forward to random stolen moments of conversation I have with my wife from plastic toilet enclosures buffeted by winds at high elevation. I was thinking that in my younger voyeuristic days, if I had thought I could in anyway keep my voice calm and get away with it I would love to have masturbated while having a conversation with one of my guilty teen-age lust-crushes.

I think that I might just try that with my wife sometime. More likely to get away with it if I try it out on her before she reads this though. Mum's the word, ya'all.