tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6216814323748204701.post211385713512142071..comments2023-05-01T02:13:48.697-07:00Comments on Full Contact Monogamy: You can't get there from here....The Fellatio Artist & The Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00604422932422361371noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6216814323748204701.post-72330158573955767742009-03-19T18:13:00.000-07:002009-03-19T18:13:00.000-07:00Annon: Thanks for supporting us...I am a bit wistf...Annon: Thanks for supporting us...I am a bit wistful I think. Mostly a little selectively bewildered. I want to feel that I have no idea how we got here, but in many ways I know very well.<BR/><BR/>Taps: Sorry about your situation. I is analogous, but different. It seems in your case it was a gradual but consistant decline. IN our case its so hot and cold. I have trouble not overacting to the temperature extremes. I feel between the lines that you really love your wife, and just can;t reach her in the physical way you crave. statistically, unfortunately you and I are probably the norm not the exceptions. From what I read a staggering number of marriages are sexless which is insane, really. From the male perspective you bought the cow because the milk wasn't free, yet now there is soy based self-serve, soft serve. But I digress...<BR/><BR/>Annon2: sorry for your loss both of intimacy and your marriage. It sounds like he has some performance anxiety. I imagine him thinking, what if the pill doesn;t work after a while? What if what if? The variance of different people's libidos is startling. I would take it if I KNEW it would shorten my life. On the other hand I used to crave impotence as a younger man with an overactive drive and guilt issues.The Fellatio Artist & The Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00604422932422361371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6216814323748204701.post-9711450580135834802009-03-17T00:03:00.000-07:002009-03-17T00:03:00.000-07:00My husband and I are divorcing over this one. He i...My husband and I are divorcing over this one. He is 10 years older than me and only gets it up with Viagra and then refuses to take it cause he thinks that he might have a heart attack taking it. WTF The doctor wouldn't have prescribed it if he didn't think my husband could safely take it. He's getting older and thinks that because I am younger I am going to Fu&$ him to death.<BR/>I need more, but he is more<BR/>interested in the telly. Good luck to you both. Hope you don't end up in divorce court like me. It isn't fun. Thinking about starting over because sex has gone by the wayside. I refuse to shrivel up and act dead because he is paranoid about dying.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6216814323748204701.post-88814033347906333102009-03-16T14:33:00.000-07:002009-03-16T14:33:00.000-07:00I feel your pain brother. I too am in the same si...I feel your pain brother. I too am in the same situation.<BR/><BR/>X and I married 10 and a half years ago. What could be better than marrying your best friend? Nothing.<BR/><BR/>At that time both of us had ragin libidos. Or at least it seemed that way. It may have been the newly married thing, I dont know.<BR/><BR/>6 years ago our daughter was born, and our sex life became non-existent. Well that isnt true... I have a very active sex life. Just no one else in it.<BR/><BR/>We have discussed it many times. But nothing has changed. And I am like you: I go long periods of time without sex, and I become easily frustrated, angry, and just a pain to be around. There is just no physical attraction there any more. And the lack of it pisses me off.<BR/><BR/>I know this isnt all her fault. I never claimed it was. I try. I really do. I do my best to be a supportive and understanding husband. But it is never enough. And I resent the fact that even though this seems to be a problem with her, I am the one who has to make all the changes. I am the one who has to be understanding. I am the one who just has to wait for her. To tell her it is OK, even when it isnt.<BR/><BR/>I feel like a fool most of the time. My wife has a husband who simply adores her. One who thinks she is the most attractive woman he has ever seen on this planet, inside and out. When we were living in a strange city and drinking all the time, she was down to the lowest weight he had seen her at, and he still thought that.When she was pregnant and gained weight, I still thought that. After she delivered our child and had so much trouble losing it, he still still thought that. A few months ago when she took up running and started losing it, he still thought that. Now that she is down to almost her pre-pregnancy weight, he still thinks that. The only thing constant in her appearance was that I always thought she was gorgeous. And I am lucky to be married to her. And I literally cant keep my hands off of her. She excites me physically and emotionally. To the extent that I have never felt before. If I wasnt an athiest I would include spiritually. Being with her is the closest I have ever come to complete happiness.<BR/><BR/>On her side... she will half-heartedly fuck me every once in a great while to keep me from being such a dick to be around.<BR/><BR/>Is all that exactly how it happens? Probably not. But thats how I see it.<BR/><BR/>A while back, one of our discussion brought up the question of whether or not I had been cheating on her. I had not been, but I was tempted. But it wouldn't have worked. Maybe I have grown up a bit. Maybe it was something else. But I didnt just want to have sex with someone. I wanted to have sex with her. Even in my fantasies, if there is someone else involved, she is there. How sad is that? My greatest fantasy is to be desired by the woman I married. And I dont even come close.<BR/><BR/>She once mentioned letting me find a girlfriend to satisfy me. She wouldnt go through with it, but the thought had crossed her mind. Before that, she once told me that if I ever did cheat on her, just to not come back home. Ever. Just leave. It would be easier. My how things change. In her mind me wanting to sleep with another woman meant I no longer loved her. Being the man that I am , and thinking the way I do, I did the math. Then what does her not wanting to sleep with me mean?<BR/><BR/>Its bad when I am at work, and we are talking on the phone, or IMing back and forth. She will end the conversation with "I love you". Out of respect I respond in kind... but in the back of my head I am thinking "YOU SELFISH LYING BITCH! YOU DONT LOVE ME! YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HOW I FEEL!"..... I know it isnt true.... but thats how I feel.<BR/><BR/>She will come home from work late at night, or back from running or the gym, or just be there when I get home, when I wake up in the morning before work, or when I wake up in the middle of the night.... one look at her and I have a physical need to be with her. That desire just to be close to her, our skin pressing together, holding her close to me...... 99 times out of 100... she just brushes me off. Then that one time she "gives in".... its usually a train wreck..... She wont come out in say it to spare my feelings... but the look of "Hurry up so I can finish the show I was watching" says more than she ever would.<BR/><BR/>I have this fear... one day, something inside her will change. She will feel a small part of the desire I do. She will wake up in the middle of the night and just have to have me. A physical need. She will go down on me while I am still sleeping just to get part of me prepared for her needs even if the rest of me is still unconsious. And I will wake up in the middle of it.... And punch her in the forehead. Cuz she freaked me out.<BR/><BR/>No, I am not serious about punching her in the forehead. But I read the rest of this reply and realized it was me whining more than anything. So I figured I would bring some levity to this monologe.<BR/><BR/>I just want you to know that you arent alone in this. Somewhere in the world, a fellow frustrated man is going through the same thing.<BR/><BR/>I too am having those internal discussions. Is there anyway to fix this? Do I just stop it altogether and try to start something new? Do I just continue being miserable?<BR/><BR/>And before anyone gives the advice of just talking it out..... You think that hasnt been tried? Im tired of talking. I have gotten to the point where every month or so I just have the conversation with myself. I know her part well enough that she doesnt even have to be involved in THAT part of our relationship anymore.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11652664661537523802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6216814323748204701.post-38553697975638566942009-03-16T13:28:00.000-07:002009-03-16T13:28:00.000-07:00Maybe just a frank discussion would open doors of ...Maybe just a frank discussion would open doors of communication. Just ask her. You seem so sad. don't let it go on too far. you'll both be unhappy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com